Best SNL Opening Ever

It's no secret that I'm a Steve Martin fan, but this has to be one of the best openings to SNL ever. I know SNL goes through cycles of being good and bad, blah blah blah, but this opening has stayed in my memory for well over 10 years.

Classic SNL lineup with Phil Hartman, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Chris Farley, Kevin Nealon, Victoria Jackson, Tim Meadows, Julia Sweeney, etc. Adam Sandler and Chris Rock are also in this clip, though just kind of part of the ensemble. Steve Martin is a genius. I was glad to find this clip on MySpace this week:

Saturday Night Live - Not Gonna Phone it in Tonight

Accomplished

I'm sure people go for months or years in their lives without feeling like they've accomplished much of anything. But thanks to the glory that is the internet, that's all changed!

For example, one of the groups you can join on the social networking site Facebook is called (see photo) Can We Get All Facebook Users in One Group???? Just by the simple act of not joining, I can ruin the sole purpose of this group. I haven't felt this accomplished in months. I'm accomplishing something by not doing anything, which kind of makes me Buddhist.*

* Apologies to Daniel Tosh for lifting his joke.

What A Week

(Warning - contains spoilers for National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Although, really - if I spoil this movie for you, you should thank me for freeing up two hours of your life with which you can do something more productive. Read a book.)

Let's suppose we sat down, and I told you about all the things I accomplished in one week, as follows:

- I traveled to France and used a remote-controlled helicopter with camera to find an inscription on the Statue of Liberty.
- I went to England, got arrested in Buckingham Palace, but then broke out and into the Queen's office to steal a wooden plank hidden in a desk.
- I used my estranged girlfriend to talk my way into the Oval Office to look for another wooden plank hidden in a desk.
- I forced the President to hold his birthday party at Mount Vernon by booking up all other available locations in the area.
- I snuck into the President's birthday party by swimming and using the old "tuxedo under a wet suit" trick.
- I kidnapped the President under the guise of exploring Mount Vernon, in order to get him alone and ask him about a book.
- I went to the Library of Congress, found information in said book, then outran FBI and police who are after me for kidnapping the President.
- I traveled to Mount Rushmore, got past several traps and found a lost city of gold buried underneath the monument.
- I got my girlfriend back and was then thanked by the President.

Would that sound like the most ridiculous week of my life ever or the plot to National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets?

If you guessed National Treasure, you are correct! This movie just earned a spot on my list of Worst Movies Ever Made. Look, I know you're supposed to suspend disbelief but come on. If it's a movie like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, they say there's they've mastered this branch of martial arts, and they can basically fly. Okay, got it. That's the field we're playing on. But look at all of the things Nicolas Cage accomplishes in the present day. Either his character is the highest level of genius in some alternate Earth or this movie is beyond absurd.

I'm going with absurd.

Favorite Comic Friday - Daniel Tosh

For this week's edition of Favorite Comic Fridays, I'm going with Daniel Tosh. Tosh is, without a doubt, my favorite comic these days. I first saw him at the Laugh Factory and instantly was a fan. I love that he's somewhat cocky and his comedy style is abrasive, which I know turns some people off. In a sense, you have to keep up with him. He just does joke after joke and keeps rolling into the next one. I've heard him say he sometimes keeps taking a joke farther and farther until only six people have a clue what he's talking about. I must be one of those six.

Take a look at this clip and go get the DVD this is from, called Completely Serious:

In Case of Apocalypse

I don't know where or how this started, but I love apocalyptic movies and books. I'm currently reading a young adult book series (shut up) that deals with an underground city after mankind nearly eliminates itself. The first book in the series, City of Ember, is coming out as a movie in October. I really enjoyed the 28 Days / Week Later films, and even though the ending kinda sucked, I liked I Am Legend.

I'm not sure why this genre intrigues me so. I think part of me sees these films and stories as guidelines for what to do in the event of apocalypse, zombie takeover or the rise of Cyberdyne Systems. I'm pretty safe in my current location - I live within walking distance of a police station (shotguns) as well as a Costco (massive food supplies). I think a part of me would be cool with a small zombie outbreak, as long as it attacked morons and people with the last names Hilton and Winehouse.

I previously was a fan of The Terminator series until someone pointed out to me (apologies, I forget who) that if the Terminators wanted to wipe out mankind, why didn't they go back to like the caveman days when we just figuring out how our thumbs worked?

For Those About to Rock

Continuing my theme of silliness in the English language - I don't believe it is possible to be thunderstruck. Thunder is a sound. Somebody go tell AC/DC to change their song lyrics to LightningStruck.

Guess What

One of my favorite things in the world is when people say "Guess what?" The what is implied to be something so surprising and fantastic that you'll never guess what it is. So I always enjoy giving a few random and absurd guesses. Hardly anyone expects a response, so have fun with it! Whatever random guesses you come up with will surely outshine the what and make the person feel awkward. It's fun, trust me. Among my favorite responses to the question "Guess what?" are:

You had lunch with George Clooney.
Someone figured out how to make miniature pet elephants.
You started counterfeiting money and you need my help.
They're making Sk8er Boi into a Broadway musical.

Then their response of "My boss is letting us go home at 3pm" sounds really lame.