Like Disco Lemonade

What are you doing in October? Do you have a free weekend and an extra 700 bucks? Great! Head on down to Florida and hop on a rock cruise headlined by Sponge and Marcy Playground.

I know rock cruises are popular these days what with The Rock Boat, the Mayercraft and even Vince Neil's Motley Cruise (Vince earns +11 bonus points for that name). Don't get me wrong - I'm a big fan of '90s rock music, but even I'm flabbergasted by Sponge and Marcy Playground teaming up for this. I'm very curious to hear how ticket sales go. I was never a fan of either band but I can't imagine they would draw that many people...can they?

Granted, this is coming from a guy that would be seriously tempted if there was a cruise with Seven Mary Three, Fastball and Soul Asylum playing. And it left from Long Beach. And it cost less than $200.

Thanks to Tied to the '90s for the tip.

Confessions From Corporate America

At my old job, I was incredibly burned out and making good progress on getting out of there. So long as I worked 8 hours, I was fortunate enough to set my own schedule. Initially, I came in at 8, but eventually I switched to 7 just so I could get the misery over with earlier. The only other person that came in early was the guy next to me, and he was inconsistent. I had somewhere between 10 minutes to an hour unsupervised every morning and my department was downstairs, away from everyone else. In my final weeks, I made it a personal goal to see what I could get away with.

So here's my confession - I watched the entire first season of LOST (24 total episodes) on work time. I kept them at my desk and watched a little bit each day. Given the time other people came in and my monitor not being visible from the door to our department, it was incredibly easy. I'm not incredibly proud of this fact but in an age where some companies monitor every single activity your computer does, it was pretty amazing. Part of me felt good to get away with something so outrageous. It was a mental middle finger after being miserable and underpaid for the better part of my employment.

I would much rather be busy and have the time and days fly by (as I'm typing this entry during a slow period at my current job), but I'm glad Jack, Sawyer and Locke were there to keep me company.

Black Shirt Guy

There's a guy at my work that wears a black t-shirt. Every. Single. Day. I've been here for over a year and I can honestly say I have never seen him wear something other than a black t-shirt. Every day - black t-shirt, dark jeans. I still can't figure it out. My best guess is that, once, someone told him he looks good in black so now he just sticks to it. I would love to take photos of him to prove my point, but you'll have to settle for my illustration here - click to enlarge.

I'd still love to mess with him. The best idea came from my friend Rich who suggested I print out a picture of a brown t-shirt with a note that says "Brown is the new black." I'll get to it soon enough. Mwa ha ha.

Hollywood Revelation: Fat Characters Like to Eat

Weeks ago, I saw the film 21 and I'm sure this is no surprise, but I have a complaint about it. To get the obvious out of the way, yes, the book was far better and yes, the casting of white actors when the majority of the true story involved Asian-Americans kinda bugged me. But onto my other complaint.

Apparently Hollywood can't figure out anything for overweight actors to do in scenes other than eating something.

The movie has a role played by actor Josh Gad. He's not in the movie much, and in two (perhaps three?) scenes, his character Miles is shown eating junk food. In one scene, he comes into Ben's dorm room, immediately grabs a box of Ding-Dongs, lays down and starts munching. It added nothing to the story whatsoever and seemed to be there just so the character had something to do. If he's there to hang out, how about showing him...just talking to his friend, perhaps? If a character is doing something besides talking, how about making it something insightful, something that adds to his character. Instead of clubbing us upside the head with this "revelation" - Oh look, he's heavy, he likes to eat. Now I get fully understand his character. He could pick up a CD and say "Coldplay sucks" and then we know his character dislikes Coldplay.

It was so unnecessary and one dimensional in this film. It's not like you see a shirtless Bruce Wayne running on the treadmill just because Christian Bale is in good shape. Be more creative, Hollywood! If I can steal something from my friend Adri - Hollywood, I shake my fist at you!!

Welcome Random Blog Readers!

One thing I love about having a public blog again - random blog hits. Like this one the other day. Someone searched for the phrase "Is saying you look tired rude?" The title of my blog + my post about the Borders guy being rude results in me as the #4 match for that search. Awesome!!! Welcome strange blog reader - hope you enjoyed your stay!

Bourne Again

A disclaimer: I did not see The Bourne Supremacy (part 2) but I did see The Bourne Identity (part 1).

Unfortunately, I watched The Bourne Ultimatum this weekend. So, three films into this series and Bourne finds out...he was a government trained assassin!! Holy crap, did anyone NOT see that coming from the first movie? It took three films to get to this?! Sheesh, they're operating at Lord of the Rings style pace here. This is my biggest complain with movies - when you invest hours of your time and there is such little payoff (aka The Harry Potter Problem). Three films totaling 338 minutes and we learn his name is David Webb and there was a covert government program to train assassins. Wow. Thank you, Hollywood, for wasting my time.

Word is they're in negotiations for a 4th movie. I can only hope it will involve Jason Bourne running away from the government and finding out a small piece about his past. You know, because that would make it totally different than the first 3 films.

I am crossing my fingers so tightly they take a radical turn with the 4th one and call it Bourne Again. In this installment, Jason Bourne turns to God for forgiveness for his past sins. Bourne takes a vow of silence, joins a monastery and then confronts government officials from his past, turning them all into Christians. I'd pay 20 bucks to see that. Make it happen, Hollywood. Check out my comp for the movie image (click to enlarge):

Mayor Mayer

I don't know who we need to talk to, but this needs to happen if for no other reason than comedic value. Just one city having a Mayor Mayer is a funny notion. I don't care what John's political beliefs are - he seems like a good guy. Get out and start campaigning, America!!!

Coldplay Makes You Sleepy

I've been saying this for years, but finally research catches up to my ideas! Travelodge in the UK surveyed Britons to find out what bands put them to sleep, and have proved that Coldplay makes you sleepy. James Blunt, Snow Patrol, Take That and Norah Jones round out the top five and I'd have to agree with them all. I don't know Take That but considering the company they're hanging out with, I'm going to roll with it. Someone should make a compilation CD for insomniacs.

Thanks for getting my back on this one! England prevails!

Actual E-Mail to Borders

Inspired by Bean's Strongly Worded Letters.

Greetings Borders,

I have been a fan of your book stores for several years now. There are 2 conveniently located near my house, the rewards program is nice and who doesn't love a Borders coupon in their e-mail inbox?

However, I'm sad to report I had my first bad experience at a Borders store this past weekend. I was in San Diego with my girlfriend and we were early for our dinner reservation. So, we decided to stop in at Borders and spend some time browsing around and relaxing, as we have always felt welcome to do so.

We looked around our favorite sections for 20 minutes before deciding to relax in the cafe. My girlfriend was in the chair right next to me perusing a book, and I decided to shut my eyes and nap for a few minutes. About 8 minutes into my very rewarding and refreshing nap, an employee from the Cafe approached and loudly asked "EXCUSE ME SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE A CUP OF COFFEE?"

While I appreciated his concern for my needs, I found it very rude. I declined the offer and a moment later, was sincerely upset he interrupted my rest from the warm Saturday afternoon of walking around San Diego all day. If approaching customers is standard policy, I can assure you this particular employee did not ask anyone else sitting nearby if they needed a cup of coffee.

I can assure you I am employed full time and was showered and well-dressed this past Saturday. I am not a vagrant looking for a chair to crash on for the entire day. I can also assure you I am not one of those people that pulls out a book and sits and reads in the cafe for 2 hours each day, without purchasing anything. I understand Borders is not a library. Does Borders have a policy against naps in its cafe?

As I said, I have always felt welcome and have enjoyed my shopping experiences at Borders, up until this point. If you can provide any kind of feedback on this situation, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you for your time,
Chris

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Follow up to this afternoon's e-mail: I got a very nice response from Borders customer care, saying they apologized for this employee's actions. Whoohoo Borders!!!

Jurassic Park IV: Dinosaur Mercs

I was reading up on the Jurassic Park series this morning (a film franchise I think helped ruin movies as we know them today, but that's another topic) and specifically about the development of Jurassic Park IV. According to the Wiki article, the second draft of the script focuses on Nick Harris who is "hired to train five genetically modified Deinonychus as mercenaries."

Dinosaur mercenaries - seriously?! They're training dinosaurs for armed combat? This could be the greatest movie ever!!! I seriously hope the Deinoychus smokes a cigarette for the majority of the movie, and says things like "It's a suicide mission, kid."

Ah, 2009 cannot come fast enough!

Words That Do Not Belong Together

I know this may sound a little bit crazy.

But.

I'm gonna go ahead and say that the words "Carrot Top" and "Fantasy" do not belong together on the same billboard.

Little Background

My interest in stand-up comedy developed for a few years before I did anything about it. I got hooked watching Comedy Central Presents on Friday nights - they usually run a 4-hour marathon. It fascinated me that each half hour was a comic that was (fairly) unique. Each had their own style of telling a joke, their own perspective and insights on topics. It seems so diverse yet there is something unifying at the same time.

I took a stand-up comedy class in the summer of 2006 where we developed a 7-minute act. We had weekly classes, practiced our act, refined it, and got to perform for whoever showed up that first night. Mostly friends and family, of course. That first night would have to rank as one of my Top Three Moments performing stand-up. Also on the list would be the first time I hosted, which was kind of stressful but a lot of fun.

Number three would have to be when I opened up the Friday night show at The Comedy Store. The opening spot is typically referred to as "taking the bullet" because no one wants to do it. I always enjoyed the challenge and on this particular night, I nailed it. The crowd was hot, my timing was great and when I was done, I knew I killed 'em. I got backstage and at least 7 other comics watching me from back there came up and gave me congratulations, and thanks for starting the night off. The next 6 comics went out and killed, too. You'd be surprised how quickly a crowd can turn on you, so it's an important thing to build momentum and keep it going.

So there's a little info on my background as a comedian. By day, I'm a graphic designer working for corporate America, which will be a semi-regular topic, I'm sure. By night, I play Guitar Hero III on Medium and rock the thousands of fans that show up at my home.

'Til next time.

Intro.

Greetings, and welcome to You Look Tired. A little background on me - I did stand-up comedy for about a year and a half and I'm currently on an indefinite break. I enjoyed it but got disillusioned with certain aspects. Fellow comedians told me I'm a smart writer but I don't think I got complimented on my performance. My guess is I'm a better writer than I am performer, which is totally fine. I'm testing the waters with my break from performing and my return to a regular, public blog here on Blogspot.

I will do my best to stick to general topics on here and save the personal details for my private blog on MySpace. I'll update whenever I have time or have a quick thought I want to share, so stay tuned. I've already got a list of 25 topics to blog about.

To start us off, how about a look at my foray into stand-up with this clip. The clip isn't playing for me personally at the time I post this, but I believe you'll see where my blog title comes from in this clip. Until next time.