This Just In...

French toast rules.

Mohinder!

As weird as this may sound, the following is true - I was on the radio Thursday morning. Well, my voice was, as I called the Kevin & Bean Afroline and left a message. It's a voicemail thing and they play back some of the bizarre or funny calls on the air and mine was chosen for Thursday morning's broadcast! I edited the clip down from the podcast, so you can listen to it.

It's dumb, but I basically sang a parody of Cheap Trick's "Surrender" but changed the lyrics to fit the TV show Heroes, and specifically the character of Mohinder. Take a listen here - Mohinder!

I've already established that I can't sing for crap, so need to tell me again. Wow, this turned into a Heroes-themed week all of a sudden. Have a great weekend everyone. Mohinder!

Superpowers

I'm being 100% serious when I say I hope to develop superpowers at some point in my lifetime. Any time I come down with a serious headache or illness, I secretly hope it's a superpower manifesting itself. Sadly, that has not happened. Yet.

Obviously, if given a choice, everyone would want to fly or turn invisible or something like that. I think the ability to stop time would be pretty dope, too. I'd only use that power once a year - to go rob a bank and get away with it. Hey...armored truck shows up and poof!, $250,000 mysteriously vanishes and I get to take a vacation.

I know freezing time has to be pretty popular, too, so my superpower of choice is to be a cryokinetic - the ability to freeze things! Iceman has long been my favorite member of the X-Men and I would be a HIT during the summer sweltering months here in southern California. Even just at a party - no need to buy ice, just invite Chris. I could also pull plenty of pranks by making douchebags slip on a sidewalk or encasing a coworker's mouse in a block of ice.

What superpower would you want?

Time Travel

Let me start off by saying I am not some genius-level physics expert. I am, however, a comic book dork and I think that qualifies me to speak about the topic of time travel. It's used pretty frequently in the TV show Heroes which, generally speaking, I love.

Spoiler alert for Heroes! In the Season 3 premiere, we have two time traveling characters - Peter who comes back from the future to stop something, and Hiro in the present day, who happened to screw up history last season. Let's address Future Peter first - he comes back in time and successfully prevents an event from happening that ruins his future. So, at that exact point, the timeline he came from should cease to exist, right? If that event never happened, then the course of events is altered and that Future Peter as we've known him in the last 5 minutes should cease to exist. But...he's still there. And still messing with stuff in the present day.

Now, onto Hiro - in last night's episode, he had something stolen from him, and needed to get it back. So, why doesn't he just go back in time to 3 seconds after it was stolen and steal it right back? I know Hiro said he didn't want to go to the past anymore, but he goes to the future. If you have time traveling powers, you essentially have unlimited redos. I would imagine each time you go back or forward and do something, that creates a different timeline. The course of events is changed each time, so there have to be at least 428 different timelines within the Heroes universe at this point.

Ugh, I'm getting a headache just typing this. Never mind.

Talk Like a Pirate

Happy International Talk Like a Pirate Day, everyone! I remember first hearing about this on KROQ-FM's Kevin & Bean morning show years ago. Sure enough, when we got in the car this morning, they were talking to Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy. Sure, it hasn't quite taken off like Christmas but just wanted to wish you all a happy ITLAPD.

In honor of today, I'm posting this clip from Saturday Night Live when Peter Sarsgaard was the host. I don't know why the clip cuts off at the end, but you should get a few laughs in before it does.

Bargains! Imprisoning Me!

I read this article about the new Metallica logo the other day. Someone posted this photo in the comments section which cracked me up to no end. Even metal singers enjoy a nice shopping trip to Armani. I guess this is the original article / photo here.

If the photo doesn't make you laugh, you should know that it pokes fun at the lyrics of their song "One".

E-Mail Forwards

I got an e-mail forward today from one of my fiancee's relatives that reminded me why I hate them so much. This e-mail violated both of my pet peeves -

1) Those ones where you "sign a petition" and pass it on to everyone in your address book don't work because...everyone has different address books! Person #12 in my address book doesn't know person #3, or even know if they signed it. So now there are multiple versions of one thing. The only way these e-mail "petition" things could conceivably work is to send it to one person at a time.

2) Research, research, RESEARCH. Guess what - if you're checking your e-mail, you're already on the internet. Do your research before telling me there's a movie about gay Jesus coming out, that cellphones will soon be assaulted by telemarketers or that the word 'picnic' is offensive to African-Americans. Google found all three of those results in about 5 seconds each.

I shake my fist at you, internet forwards!