And On Bass...

Last night, I dreamt I was asked to play in a Better Than Ezra cover band. It was a last minute thing, so I ran out and got a bass guitar, since bass is supposedly easier to play than guitar or drums. I had to call BTE's management to get their permission to play our gig. I don't know how it turned out because the next thing I dreamt about was cooking eggs in a kitchen.

And for the record, no, I did not drop acid last night.

Mirror Ball Associates

At only $8.99 (on Amazon), you should download the album Covers Vol. 1 by Mirror Ball Associates. It's a bunch of cover songs performed by Paul Durham (of the band Black Lab) and his friends.

It's kind of a weird mix of songs - it has versions of Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract," (sidebar: how weird is it that Paula has a thing for an animated cat in the music video?), "If I Only Had a Brain"from Wizard of Oz and a slow version of Willie Nelson's "On the Road Again" which is my favorite track. Like I said, it's a weird mix but the entire album is fun, which is exactly what I expect from a covers album.

PS - it's $9.99 on iTunes but I'm becoming more of a fan of Amazon MP3.

The Price is Right

For anyone that is home sick on Wednesday or owns a TiVO, the episode of The Price is Right that I went to will air on Wednesday morning, February 25. You will be able to spot me in the center section, second row all the way on the right aisle. I think I started high fiving contestants as they "came on down." I'm wearing a maroon shirt and by the end, I started crying because they realized they weren't going to pick me (not really).

Allison Mack. Connected.

So I was reading up on Smallville the other day, which is an awesome show, by the way. We're watching it on Netflix and have 1 disc left in Season 4. (Anyone that posts spoilers in the comments and ruins something for me will have Deathstroke the Terminator sent after you.)

I digress.

So I'm reading up on Wikipedia and clicking around to some of the actors' names, and I come across Allison Mack's entry on Wikipedia. It's a normal page until you get to the bottom and see that she is on every single social networking site. Seriously. You can get in touch with Allison Mack on her official website, via Sodahead, MySpace, YouTube, Facebook, Bebo, Orkut, Friendster (sidebar: people still use Friendster?) and hi5.

I've never even heard of most of these sites, but holy smack! I guess, on one hand, it might be smart because she's protecting her name and preventing impostors from posing as Allison Mack. On the other hand, how in the heck does she keep up with all of them? Probably has a personal assistant. "Hey, make sure you check my Sodahead account first, then my Facebook before you get me coffee."

Blaaaagh

Sadly, I've started another blog. You can follow the adventures of a future librarian over at The Libronicle. I might play around with the layout a bit, but there are a few posts already up.

I'm sorry.

Valentime's Day

Proof I have the greatest girl ever - she wanted to go to KFC for dinner tonight. I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Favorite Comic Fridays - Henry Cho

I'm a noted fan of comedy. What I appreciate even more than a great comedian, is someone who does it clean. I personally don't have a problem with swearing. But I think if you can tell a hysterical joke without resorting to dirty words, it's respectable. I've seen some comedians swear too much and it just ruins the effectiveness of the swear words.

It wasn't until I was 2/3 of the way through his album when I realized not only was it clever and very funny, but he hadn't dropped a single curse word. Hats off to you, Mr. Cho. You made it on to my crummy blog.

Enjoy this clip of Henry on The Late Late Show.

Cold Snails

It's been cold here in lovely California as of late. I've noticed some people say it is "cold as hell." I'm not a Bible scholar or an ordained minister, but I don't believe hell is cold. I guess some faiths see hell as a frozen wasteland but I was raised on the fire & brimstone version.

Perhaps people say it is "cold as hell" in order to be ironic or even random, in which case I would like to suggest that Amy Winehouse is "sexy as snails."

Worst Job?

I was thinking one of the worst jobs in the world right now has to be working for the State Unemployment Office. I had to redial a phone number for 40 minutes (which I'm told by other people was a "short wait") to talk to this guy, Robert. I'm not 100% certain - but it sounded like he was standing over a pool of sharks and fastening a noose around his neck while we talked.

HJNTIY

He's Just Not That Into You (the movie) debuted at #1 this past weekend. Quick backstory - the book is co-written by comedian Greg Behrendt, who is one of my favorites and actually inspired me to start doing stand-up. Greg was a consultant for Sex and the City, this phrase was said by him and it caught on when the show aired. Then, he co-authored a book of relationship advice and somehow ended up with a talkshow where he helped people out with problems. Even though he's a comedian.

Certainly, there are MANY people out there in very unhappy relationships that aren't going anywhere. If this book helped you out, that is fantastic. I've seen some of my own friends not getting back what they put into a relationship and really, there comes a point where you need to move on. The person you're with should dig you.

I looked up the Wiki and here's what it says in reference to the episode - "Because the man declined Miranda's invitation to come up to her apartment after the date, stating that he has an early meeting, Jack concludes, "he's just not that into you," adding, "When a guy's really into you, he's coming upstairs, meeting or no meeting."

Taken to the extreme - where does it end? If a girl asks a guy to come upstairs but his Mom has open heart surgery in the morning, is he not that into her? If a girl asks a guy to get together for breakfast but he's flying to Tokyo in the morning or he's going to lose his job, is he not that into her? Do we have to do everything a girl requests now, lest she think we're not that into her?

Lord of the Talking Elephants and the Goblet of Overwhelming Odds

How to Write a Fantasy Film in Nine Easy Steps:

1. Make up a prophecy about a Teenager. Don't worry, you don't have to explain the who/how/why of the prophecy. Just say there's some prophecy that some Teenager will save the world from your dark world ruled by an Über-Villain.

2. Come up with a dark world ruled by an Über-Villain.

3. Have a Mentor to the Teenager - preferably someone old and past their fighting prime.

4. Have the Mentor train Teenager in the ways of combat and magic.

5. Introduce a Love Interest for the Teenager that gets kidnapped by the Über-Villain.

6. Introduce Talking Animal, some dwarves or other fantastical creature(s) that aid the Teenager and the Mentor while they storm the overwhelming forces of the Über-Villain.

7. Über-Villain kills the Mentor and injures the Talking Animal so Teenager faces overwhelming odds.

8. Despite overwhelming odds, Teenager rescues Love Interest and saves the day.

9. Sit back, watch your $100M opening weekend and enjoy!

Silence

At 10AM this morning, please observe a moment of silence for the brain cells I lost while watching The Real Housewives of Orange County last night.

Thank you.

25 Things About Me

Yeah yeah, so I just copied and pasted it from Facebook. So what.

1. I saw a therapist for close to a year. Looking back on it, I don't know that it helped me out much.

2. The only year I've seen all of the Best Picture Nominees was 2007 - Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, Atonement and There Will be Blood. I wasn't that impressed with any of them.

3. I get ideas for movie scripts / sketches but...that's about as far as I get. I'm an "idea guy" but yet I'm still convinced I will write a genius screenplay someday, though.

4. I've been a Type I diabetic for more than half my life.

5. Sometimes I think I'm crazy but then wonder if I'm not - because would a crazy person would actually be aware they're crazy?

6. I like to cook but never follow a recipe exactly.

7. When I was little, my brother and I wanted to be a professional wrestling tag team when we grew up. Our team would have been called The Kiefer Konnection. We even sketched out what our outfits would look like.

8. I have signed up to volunteer for a few organizations in recent years but failed to follow through, which depresses me.

9. Black underwear makes me feel dangerous.

10. I would enjoy being a police officer but the lack of a functioning pancreas and not being in shape keep me from pursuing it. I can't imagine the police force would want a diabetic who could potentially pass out in the middle of arresting Mel Gibson.

11. I have sat down and given serious thought to who would win in a fight between Superman and Thor (the Marvel Comics version).

12. Recently, I was clocked at a typing speed of 74.8 WPM.

13. I'm surprised no one has made (or attempted to make) a movie version of the novels A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving, or Carter Beats the Devil by Glen David Gold. Both of those came across strongly in my head as a movie picturefilm.

14. I sometimes feel like a fraud in the world of graphic design. I've been on interviews or I read blogs where someone mentions something, and I'll think, "I've never heard of that before" or "I don't know how to do that."

15. My favorite band in the world is Better Than Ezra, and I've seen them in Hollywood, Anaheim, San Diego, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Phoenix, New Orleans, Boston, New York and Columbia, MO.

16. Both comedian Greg Behrendt and singer Nina Gordon have given me their private email addresses. That's about as close as I've come to actually being "in" with a "celebrity." I emailed each of them once and never heard back. They just told me whatever the next time I saw them.

17. At some point in my life, I'd like to have a job that actually makes a profound difference in someone's life. Even if it's just one person whose life I change.

18. I get celebrity crushes but they disappear quickly. Kate Winslet has remained pretty strong for a few years, though.

19. I truly would love to own a miniature pet elephant.

20. I've only been drunk once in my life and that was in New Orleans 4 years ago.

21. I'm really good at air guitar. There is a craft to it.

22. I honestly think if I became incredibly wealthy or famous, not that much about me would change. In fact, if I won the lottery, most of you wouldn't know.

23. I have a terrible memory. This came to me after we watched Lord of War, and a few days later, I could barely recall the plot. It makes me wonder why I even watch movies or read books if nothing sinks in, but I do.

24. I want to write and illustrate a children's book someday.

25. I can't stand Cuba Gooding Jr.