Friday, July 31, 2009

Chopped Liver

You know how, if people feel insignificant or socially slighted, they say they "feel like chopped liver"? Has anyone ever stopped to think about how chopped liver feels?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Colony

I've talked before about how much the apocalypse fascinates me. So I caught a few minutes of a new reality show on Discovery called The Colony. It's follows ten "survivors" in a simulated post-apocalyptic environment. Here's a rundown of the people on the show - an oil industry engineer, a scientist, an ER doctor, an aerospace engineer, a solar panel installer/fabricator, a contractor, martial arts fighter/instructor, a machinist, a marine specialist and a reistered nurse. Wow -- could they stack the deck any more in their favor? If I faced the apocalypse, those are the types of people I would want to survive with.

On one hand, it's kind of cool because they got some electricity by connecting twelve car batteries together. And in one preview, it showed them coming up with ideas for a generator. So they do some neat stuff like that.

On the other hand, these other "survivors" showed up and asked if they could find sanctuary in their abandoned warehouse. The "survivors" already inside answered the door with pipes in their hands...temporarily forgetting they were simply shooting a TV show in downtown Los Angeles.

I might have to check in on this show from time to time, but I think I might miss the sassy black woman and douchebag jock stereotypes on most reality shows.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Good News / Bad News

Good news - we won't have to worry about the economy much longer.

Bad news - it's because Skynet will be here soon. Okay, fine, the article says "we are a long way (away)" but there is a report coming out about the threat of robot intelligence. A legitimate report conducted my actual scientists that see this as a concern.

How many movies do we have to make before we stop making smarter robots? I'm going to queue up the Terminator franchise, I, Robot and Stealth in my Netflix account so I can get ready to fight some robots.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Truth About Bottled Water

Great article on Yahoo! exposing some of the truths about bottled water. I've never seen the point in paying for something that comes right out of your faucet. It's amazing how mankind has survived millions of years without it (and Purell - but that's another rant), yet now bottled water is supposed to be safe and/or good for you. I drank from the hose when I was a kid!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

That's So...Cool

In the history of lexicon, think about how many words have been a substitute for the word "cool."

Now think about how many of those words we no longer use. Words like bodacious, gnarly or groovy are hardly said anymore.

(The creator of this blog assumes no responsibility if your head expodes upon reading the closing sentence.)

What's most amazing to me is that the word "cool" has never been uncool.

Am I right, or am I right? Or am I right?

Friday, July 17, 2009

You Get Me (Sometimes)

Once in a while, my iPod just "gets" me. Those times where it shuffles an awesome string of songs in a row. Well, okay, mostly awesome.

Mark and Carter Jam - Dave Matthews Band
Suffragete City - David Bowie
Easy - Barenaked Ladies
For the Movies - Buckcherry
On the Cover of a Rolling Stone - The Refreshments
Where Are You - Our Lady Peace
Piano Man - Billy Joel
X-Ray Mind - Mad Season
Days of the Week - Stone Temple Pilots
Love is Stronger Than Death - The The
Since You Broke It - Graham Colton Band
Kickstart My Heart - Motley Crue
Why Pt. 2 - Collective Soul
Make Yourself - Incubus
Perfect - Alanis
Turning Japanese - Incubus
Waxing or Waning - Better Than Ezra
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
An Expose - Steve Martin
A Place for My Head - Linkin Park
Champagne High - Sister Hazel
If You Could Only See - Tonic
American Girls - Counting Crows
Would You Rather - Dane Cook
Dead Meat - Bush
Keep on Rockin' in the Free World - Neil Young
Versions of Violence - Alanis
Horses - Jerry Seinfeld
I Will Follow - U2
Wherever I May Roam - Metallica
Sympathetic - Seether
Hands Clean - Alanis
No Way Back - Foo Fighters
Girly - The Refreshments
Red Mosquito - Pearl Jam
12 Oz. - Home Town Hero
Good (acoustic) - Better Than Ezra
New Rose - Guns N' Roses
Inside Voice - Jim Gaffigan
Interlude - My Chemical Romance
The Door - Silverchair
Charm - Wild Colonials

...after that, it kind of fell apart with an instrumental Everclear tune, a depressing Alanis song, Macy Gray and then Travis. But aside from those two songs I skipped, that's a damn good playlist of songs right there.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Company Lunch

There was a company sponsored lunch recently at work, my first experience at this new company. For whatever reason, it was a Hawaiian themed day with lunch catered from (wait for it...) El Pollo Loco. ¿Aloha, mis amigos?

About 11:30, they announced lunch was ready and I waited 15 minutes for the line to die down. The guy that sits next to me said last year, there were a ton of leftovers all day long, so I figured I had plenty of time.

11:45 rolls around and I walk to the kitchen to find they are completely out of tortillas, chips and salsa. And they're down to 2 pieces of chicken - both wings. And there were 5 people in line behind me.

So I piled on the rice and beans and grabbed one wng. So sad.

An hour later - they apparently ordered more food, and announced there was more chicken. Again, I watied because I figure the people that got nothing would go first. 15 minutes later, I walked over to find one drumstick and two wings left.

Either I work with a bunch of vultures or whoever orders food has no clue what the hell they're doing. Thank you for the rice, beans and 0.06 ounces of meat I had for lunch, company.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009


After being incredibly disappointed by the first one, and reading the plot description of the sequel, I can safely say I have zero interest in seeing Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I recently saw a shirt with a weeping Autobots logo and underneath it said "Michael Bay raped my childhood." I was never much of a Transformers fan but that is well said, Mr. 40-year old man-looking-at-Transformers-toys-even-though-you-hated-the-movie-anyway.

Something occured to me about the Transformers universe, too. They take the shape of vehicles and such to blend in with humanity. So...why don't they all take the shape of fighter jets? Think about it - if Optimus Prime is chasing Starscream, but they're both trying to blend in, Optimus is a big rig while Starscream is a jet. Guess who can't cross the ocean on wheels or their robotic legs?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Genius Idea #46 - A Posse

I was walking out of the bank when I noticed that strip they have by the door with the height markers on it. You know, so if someone robs the joint, they can look at them as they leave and tell the cops he was 5'11" white dude. I noticed those markers go from about 5' to 7' which is when Genius Idea #46 struck me - get together a posse of midget bank robbers. They'd scamper out the front door and the bankers would be unable to give an accurate height description.

In case they have trouble reaching the counter or appearing as a legitimate threat, they could team up with ex-basketball players. Most of them are thugs anyway. The majority of people are between 5' and 7' but surely a posse of midgets and ex-ballers would run rampant on a crime spree. As long as I can be your kingpin and take a cut of the loot, you're free to use Genius Idea #46.

Genius Idea #46 brought to you by Bank of America - where America banks.