E-Mail Forwards

I got an e-mail forward today from one of my fiancee's relatives that reminded me why I hate them so much. This e-mail violated both of my pet peeves -

1) Those ones where you "sign a petition" and pass it on to everyone in your address book don't work because...everyone has different address books! Person #12 in my address book doesn't know person #3, or even know if they signed it. So now there are multiple versions of one thing. The only way these e-mail "petition" things could conceivably work is to send it to one person at a time.

2) Research, research, RESEARCH. Guess what - if you're checking your e-mail, you're already on the internet. Do your research before telling me there's a movie about gay Jesus coming out, that cellphones will soon be assaulted by telemarketers or that the word 'picnic' is offensive to African-Americans. Google found all three of those results in about 5 seconds each.

I shake my fist at you, internet forwards!

Hulkamania

I recently finished reading the autobiography of Hulk Hogan. There was no one bigger than Hulk Hogan to my brother and I when we were youngsters. Sadly, Hulk left this important story out of his book -

In 1991, my brother and I were in the car with our Mom and Grandma, driving down Valley Circle Blvd. when Hulk Hogan drove past us on his motorcycle. Mom instantly recognized him but my brother and I weren't paying attention and didn't see him. A few yellow lights and miles later, we caught up to him at a gas station. Our Mom gave us a piece of paper for him to sign and we approached our hero to ask for his autograph. I was so nervous that I barely knew what to say. My brother was much cooler, of course, and asked if he was ready for his tag team match at Summerslam. He said he was confident he and The Ultimate Warrior would win (they did) and signed our paper, which my bro still has. I still think it's cool that Mom drove kinda crazy so we could catch up to him.

It was quite the moment for a pair of lifelong wrestling fans and Hulkamaniacs. This was the man that bodyslammed Andre the Giant! This was the man that give such thrilling interviews you believed every word when he shared the three commandments of Hulkamania: 1) train, 2) say your prayers and 3) take your vitamins.

His book is fairly entertaining, even if it glosses over quite a bit. It turns out my childhood hero had one major fear in his life, though - helicopters. So just keep that in mind, kids - even the Immortal Hulk Hogan is scared of something. Check out this great pre-match interview from Wrestlemania 4 where he tangled with Andre the Giant.

Seven Years

I was at the library the other day looking for a Dreamweaver / HTML book. I found one that looked pretty decent, but didn't get it because it was published in 2001. "Seven years - that's old!" I thought to myself.

Then it occurred to me that the anniversary on 9/11 is this week...today, actually. It struck me that there are 7-year old boys and girls that probably have little to no concept of this tragedy. They probably know every Hannah Montana and Jonas Brothers lyric, but won't know what it was like to wake up that morning and live through that tragedy via the news or in person. I think about 9/11 from time to time and my heart still aches.

Wow, seven years.

Thank Goodness She's Locked In

After last week's awesome Stormtrooper post, my friend Jenny posted a comment that read "It's a good thing you already have a fiancee. This article proves you are nothing but nerd. :p" I completely agree with that, so I've decided to add a new tag to my blog called Thank Goodness She's Locked In.

There are certain ideas I share with my fiancee and the minute they leave my mouth, I think to myself, "Thank goodness someone agreed to marry me." Not just "someone" of course - I'm thankful it's her, but I'm grateful she puts up with my dork moments and random thoughts. My most random (and frequent) thoughts seem to revolve around baby names, although we are nowhere near ready to have kids. Among them:

- We should name our son Doctor. If he ever becomes a doctor, he'd be Doctor Doctor and if not, then at least he has a prestigious name.

- Our son's middle name should be Danger because it would be an instant pick-up line. (Yes, I'm trying to help my son get laid in the future.)

- We should name our son Ready, then change his name when he's a few months old to something like Benjamin. Then for the rest of his life, he can always say, "I was born Ready."

Before you ask me, yes, ALL of the above ideas were met with an enthusiastic eye roll from my fiancee and yes, I know how lucky I am to have her.

Thank You, Kid Rock!

Kid Rock rapped over Metallica's "Sad But True" and made an okay song out of it. The funny part (other than me liking it) is Kid Rock's claim that he "put Detroit city back on the map." I think they gave him some kind of achievement award at Cartographers Expo 2006 for doing so. Thank you, Kid!

The Luckyist Keyboardist

Quick, name your favorite rock star keyboardist.

Exactly. They don't exist. Those words go together like "new Eddie Murphy movie" and "awesome."

With the possible exception of Bon Jovi's David Bryan, who has been with the band since they formed in 1983. Keyboard players were kind of big in the '80s with new wave bands but they've gone the way of ska music being played on KROQ. That's a pretty impressive testament to a guy who kind of resembles a cocker spaniel.

Not to knock the guy too much - according to his Wikipedia page, he had 4.0 GPA while in Pre-Med at Rutgers University before he decided to play keys to songs like "Livin' On a Prayer." He's also released three solo albums and has written a musical.

A tip of the hat to you, David Bryan. If anyone asks who my favorite rock keyboardist is, I guarantee I will say you.

Stormtrooper Effect

I was thinking about Star Wars the other day. Okay, fine - I think about it nearly every day. Specifically, about weaknesses in the Empire and one of them stands out above all others - the lack of effective Stormtrooper armor.

These are your guys, Empire. They're your front line to get stuff done, whether it's enforcing Imperial law or installing reactors. Granted, you did provide them with blasters and commlinks but the armor is ineffective against even one blaster bolt! Look at the Rebel troops by comparison - they're just dudes with a blaster and a helmet. No wonder they get shot and die so easily.

I don't know where the hell the Empire spent all of their money but surely it wasn't on building up a decent army. The Emperor must have had to take out a second mortgage to build Darth Vader's armor that there just wasn't much left for the stormtroopers. Poor guys, they're just trying to make their way in the universe like anyone else.