As my wedding draws closer, and as we both get more tired of wedding planning, I'm realizing we are skipping a few wedding traditions. Yes, we're getting married in the traditional Catholic ceremony but after that, all bets are off. I don't understand the point to a lot of wedding traditions. I think some couples do them just "because it's tradition" but that isn't a reason for us. If I could give a 20-minute monologue during the reception, I would. But then I would also offend people who did these things and who think they're probably good ideas. So, here is a list of what we're skipping and why:
- Guest book. There's no point to a guest book because a) we have your addresses since we just mailed you invitations and b) no one writes anything besides "Good luck!" or "Congratulations!" Considering most guest books sell for $20 for 60-pages (of which, only about 8 will be written on), you might as well flush that money down the toilet.
- Cake cutting. I don't understand the significance of cutting the cake together. It's supposed to symbolize...that you both like dessert? That you can tandem operate a knife? Couples spend $40 on an engraved cake cutter they'll never use again, so this one's out. Plus, I hate hate HATE it when couples smash the cake in each other's faces. It's unnecessary and gross.
-Unity candle. The unity candle symbolizes the two families coming together...but doesn't the entire ceremony and marriage symbolize that a lot better than a $3 candle?
- Groom's cake - I wasn't really aware of this one until my Mom asked if I was having one. When I asked what the point is, she said it was a separate cake just for the groom. I guess it's usually done in the South where grooms tend to prefer liquor-soaked cakes, but I say Nope.com.
- Bouquet toss / garter toss - no one enjoys this. Yeah, it's supposed to be "the next one to get married" but when has that ever come true? When has a girl caught the bouquet and then her boyfriend proposes the following weekend? Never! No guy wants to catch the garter, either. It basically just points out all of the single people and there's no reason for that.
- Ice sculpture. Okay, not really a tradition but you pay upwards of $200 for something that is reduced to a puddle of water. In case you weren't aware, you can get the same end result from simply pouring a cup of water out. I have seen some ice sculptures where you pour a warm beer down the top and put your glass at the bottom, and it comes out icy cold. That's cool and useful, but having some douchy sculpture of your initials or a swan or something is lame.
I'm sooooooooo glad my fiancee never had a childhood dream of a fairytale wedding of ice sculptures and silver plated guest books.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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5 comments:
i've actually done a fair amount of looking into the symbolism of wedding traditions - particularly since ours will be a mixed-faith wedding, and also, we set a rule which is, saying 'cause thats what you are supposed to do' is not reason enough to do it...
there actually is symbolism in the cake cutting - most commonly seen as the first time you taking joint responsibility for a task & also taking care of eachother... but further back: http://www.pcc.edu/library/news/prize/cake.pdf
also, i think a lot of people see the groom's cake as a way for the groom to have a little fun... since weddings are mostly about what the bride wants and all about being 'pretty' its a way to incorporate the groom's ideas/tastes/etc into the party... i've seen lots that are sports logos, representative of hobbies, etc... sometimes its the only 'fun' spot in an otherwise stuffy event... (i dont think you have this problem...)
oddly enough, looking into the meaning of some of the traditions has made me want to do them more. I'm very excited for our chuppah & kehtuba - both jewish traditions that the fiance didnt particularly care about all that much, but that i totally want...
We didn't do the bouquet/garter toss because we both hated that tradition. We did an anniversary dance instead.
We did a guest book, but with a twist. We rented a photo booth and had guests take pics, then put them into a photo album with a message. So fun to look back at.
We didn't do a grooms cake either. The wedding cake was enough.
At the reception, we did a sweetheart table (just the bride and groom) instead of a full head table. My mom did not understand this concept, but she finally gave in. I loved doing this because it gave my husband and I some time alone.
It's your wedding, do it the way you want to. That's my motto!!!
a.) I am so with you on the guest book. I even hate signing guest books. So as one going to your wedding, I thank you for taking that responsibility away from me.
b.) Cake cutting I'm ambivalent about. However, having a special knife to do it with is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS!
c.) Unity Candle - I hate it. Gavin doesn't even have a choice about whether or not he wants to do it. I even hate the unity sand thing that's now trendy.
d.) Groom's Cake - I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where this has happened, since I have never heard of this!
e.) Bouquet/garter toss - AMEN. Thank you again for saving me (and others) from participating in this because I hate this one too.
f.) Ice sculpture? Ridiculous.
I find this very funny. Weddings themselves are just traditions. People do it because that's what most people do when they decide to spend the rest of their life with someone. I believe everything you are doing is costing money because of a tradition...so picking out some things over others seems a bit hypocritical.
I must say though, I'm glad you are having a wedding because then we get to see you and the family!
But if I hadn't smashed the cake in Andrew's face (after he got me first, of course), then I wouldn't have that priceless picture! You know the one.
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