Smith

A female friend of mine whose maiden name was Smith got married recently. At the reception, her Dad got up to give a speech and his opening line was something like, "Well, we're all a little sad there's going to be one less Smith in the phone book now." I have to give him props as that's probably one of the funniest lines I've ever heard.

BRB

On hiatus until after the wedding! Too much stuff going on.

Nixed Wedding Traditions

As my wedding draws closer, and as we both get more tired of wedding planning, I'm realizing we are skipping a few wedding traditions. Yes, we're getting married in the traditional Catholic ceremony but after that, all bets are off. I don't understand the point to a lot of wedding traditions. I think some couples do them just "because it's tradition" but that isn't a reason for us. If I could give a 20-minute monologue during the reception, I would. But then I would also offend people who did these things and who think they're probably good ideas. So, here is a list of what we're skipping and why:

- Guest book. There's no point to a guest book because a) we have your addresses since we just mailed you invitations and b) no one writes anything besides "Good luck!" or "Congratulations!" Considering most guest books sell for $20 for 60-pages (of which, only about 8 will be written on), you might as well flush that money down the toilet.

- Cake cutting. I don't understand the significance of cutting the cake together. It's supposed to symbolize...that you both like dessert? That you can tandem operate a knife? Couples spend $40 on an engraved cake cutter they'll never use again, so this one's out. Plus, I hate hate HATE it when couples smash the cake in each other's faces. It's unnecessary and gross.

-Unity candle. The unity candle symbolizes the two families coming together...but doesn't the entire ceremony and marriage symbolize that a lot better than a $3 candle?

- Groom's cake - I wasn't really aware of this one until my Mom asked if I was having one. When I asked what the point is, she said it was a separate cake just for the groom. I guess it's usually done in the South where grooms tend to prefer liquor-soaked cakes, but I say Nope.com.

- Bouquet toss / garter toss - no one enjoys this. Yeah, it's supposed to be "the next one to get married" but when has that ever come true? When has a girl caught the bouquet and then her boyfriend proposes the following weekend? Never! No guy wants to catch the garter, either. It basically just points out all of the single people and there's no reason for that.

- Ice sculpture. Okay, not really a tradition but you pay upwards of $200 for something that is reduced to a puddle of water. In case you weren't aware, you can get the same end result from simply pouring a cup of water out. I have seen some ice sculptures where you pour a warm beer down the top and put your glass at the bottom, and it comes out icy cold. That's cool and useful, but having some douchy sculpture of your initials or a swan or something is lame.

I'm sooooooooo glad my fiancee never had a childhood dream of a fairytale wedding of ice sculptures and silver plated guest books.

Wedding Quilt

Recently, while I was at a wedding, some girls were talking about wedding dresses. One of them said now that she and her 3 sisters are married, one of them suggested cutting up their wedding dresses and making a quilt for each using material from all three dresses. I thought this sounded like a brilliant idea but the girl relating the story could not have been more horrified at the thought of cutting up her dress.

Look. Okay, I know what you're gonna say, but -

Look.

LOOK.

It's a dress you wear once, then it sits in a closet. Any girl that thinks their daughter will wear her wedding dress is delusional so you might as well do something with it. There are reports that the brides amongst our group of friends are planning some kind of bride tea party so they have an excuse to wear their wedding dress again. You need to set aside a date and a time with friends to wear an article of clothing for only the second time?! Ludacris!!

I'm ecstatic to report my future bride spent less than $100 on her dress - it looks fabulous and she can wear it again for a variety of occasions. If you spend $5,000 on a dress, you might as well flush $5,000 down the toliet because that's exactly what you're doing. Weddings are insane.

Catholic Engaged Encounter Pt. 2

You socialize with other couples during meal times and breaks but we didn't expect to make any new friends out of this weekend. Everyone was nice but ultimately, you're there to focus on your relationship and not to make new ones.

The majority of couples were Catholic or some form of Christian. There was discussion about God and faith but I'd say it was not preachy. I would recommend this retreat to anyone interested in building/improving a strong foundation for their marriage regardless of faith. Just listen to this for a reason why - at the conclusion of the weekend, one couple wanted to share their story. They said they had been fighting for most of the week and hadn't spoken to each other on the 3-hour drive up to the retreat. They weren't even sure if they wanted to go at all, not believing this weekend would change anything. But on Sunday afternoon, they were beaming with happiness and said it felt like each had their fiancee back.

I don't mean to make it sound like the weekend is all sappy crying and lovey dovey - there were quite a few hysterical moments over the two days, both between ourselves and with other couples. It's not all heavy stuff.

With divorce rates on the rise, it's amazing to think investing one weekend can make you stronger as you enter marriage. As the tagline on the website states - a wedding is one day, a marriage is a lifetime. Check out the Engaged Encounters website for more information and please help spread the word to those you think might be interested.

My fiancee and I were really into the weekend and overall experience. We want to do anything we can to help curb future divorce and build stronger relationships, so we signed up to volunteer on future retreats! Go CEE!

Catholic Engaged Encounter Pt. 1

My fiancee and I recently went on a Catholic Engaged Encounter weekend. Its goal is to make the couple better prepared for the lifelong commitment of marriage through discussions and exercises. Attendance is required if you want to get married in a Catholic church, but we thought it would be a good idea anyway - just to make certain we haven't skipped or buried any issues over the years.

We've been very open and honest with one another so I didn't think this retreat would unearth anything major. We found some little things we addressed and know we need to work on, but I now feel 101% confident I've chosen the right person to marry. It was an emotional weekend for us and even moreso for some of the other 40 couples in attendance.

The retreat was led by two older couples who would read from papers they'd prepared. Some of these felt really long and dry - they write them ahead of time so they won't get sidetracked telling a story. If it's written out and read, they know exactly what to cover and how long it will take. I felt this took some of the emotion out of it but I do understand the reasoning behind it.

After each topic presentation, couples would split up and answer questions in our workbooks. Then we met up and discussed our answers. The majority of the weekend was this - listen, write, share; listen, write, share. While it gets repetitive, I think it works because you're given time alone to think and collect your thoughts before talking with your partner. If you don't finish, or if something turns into a bigger issue than you'd realized, then you can come back to it later.

I overheard some guys talking in our dorm room about how good the weekend was for them. They admitted they were avoiding some issues as a couple, and there's only so many times you can put it off.

We had a group discussion with anonymously submitted questions that was intense for everyone. I thought some of them might be silly questions or they would just be too generic. But the ones shared were very honest and personal problems in need of advice on a couple's specific problem. Some couples even stood up and expanded on their questions, and got great input on tough situations.

Back tomorrow with the second half of this post.

Road Trip?

My fiancee got invited to a bridal shower for the fiancee of my cousin, neither of whom she's ever met. And it's in Michigan.

Whaaaaaaat?

Wedding Websites

With my wedding coming up shortly, we've talked about doing one of those websites. I've been opposed to it mostly due to privacy issues. Think about most of those sites and the amount of information given away - full names of bride, groom and the wedding party, dates and locations of events, and registry lists that frequently have a "ship to home address" option if you purchase online. That's an incredible amount of information to just give away to strangers if you want to set up something fun for your family and friends to see.

By the way, I found all of those examples by simply Googling a random first name, followed by "wedding website." Incredibly easy.

I think we're going to do a very simple website without full names or any mention of dates. It's going to be a sub-section of my own personal site so I think it nearly impossible for someone to just randomly come across. I understand people are excited about their wedding and doing a website can be fun, but it makes me wonder how many people snoop around for private information on these things. Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I'm a frayed knot.

Bahamaish

So, fiancee and I have been looking for what we want to wear for our wedding. Since it's in September and we want casual, we've kind of decided on something in the Tommy Bahama vein for myself. The problem is, I will feel like an asshole if I spend $118 on a shirt.

Wait. I know what you're gonna say - it's my wedding and I should splurge. But I promise you, I will feel like an asshole if I spend $118 on a shirt. I have price points set in my life and this more than doubles what any rationale man being should spend a shirt.

So - do any of you know of any Tommy Bahama-ish type places where I can get a nice linen shirt for far less than $100?

What Not to Wear

For some retarded reason, one of the headlines on Yahoo! last week was an article entitled 9 Things You Should Never Wear to a Wedding. I'll save you from clicking on the article by just posting the list here:

1. White
2. Shorts
3. Short miniskirts and bustier tops
4. Coattails
5. Anything gold / sequins / glittery
6. Leather jackets, skirts or pants
7. Baseball hats
8. Western wear - bandannas, cowboy boots
9. Jeans

This has to be one of the dumbest articles I've ever read as every single point they make just states the obvious. I hope they publish an article next week called 9 Reasons Not to Drink Bleach.