Hey Jealousy

Well, I've done it to myself again.  I went and talked to a high school classmate (oddly enough he works at my company now) so I was catching up with him.  He told me how after graduating college, he worked in San Diego for a while, then Toronto, then Seattle and now he's back in L.A.  We were talking about old friends and such, so he also told me about a former classmate who writes for the Wall Street Journal and another who is a graphic designer in NYC.

So then I went and got myself discouraged because I've been located in southern California since birth, and feel like maybe I haven't lead that exciting of a life in comparison.

And then I made things even worse by looking at LinkedIn and getting envious of other former coworkers/classmates and what they're doing now.  I swear to God, I could really do without jealousy in my life.  It's not anyone's fault - of course I don't want my friends to leave their well-paying careers or to lead a lifestyle identical to mine -- but still, a part of me cannot help but feel envious.  I just can't help it.

And yes, in the same breath as my jealousy, I also know I am incredibly fortunate with the life I have.  For Pete's sake, I have a classmate who died in a car accident in 2009 so what do I really have to complain about.

So anyway.  I get down about this kind of stuff about once every six weeks or so, so I guess that's what this feeling is.  On the plus side, it does motivate me to find a better job and I already applied to 4 postings last night.

Just wish I could live my life without the feelings of envy.