The Calamari Wrestler - Review

If you could remove the thumbs of every person, it wouldn't be enough "thumbs up" for The Calamari Wrestler. Plus, nobody would have thumbs and we'd lose the ability to grip things and hit the spacebar. Okay, so Calamari Wrestler doesn't deserve quite that many, but it is entertaining even if it doesn't come fully around on the scale of "so bad it's good" movies. If I can give away most of the key plot points in my review, I will do so now:

The movie starts with Taguchi winning the championship, then immediately being challenged by a squid that just shows up in the ring - our hero, The Calamari Wrestler. The thing I love most about this is the lack of explanation. No one really questions where the squid came from, how he's able to talk or where he learned the Northen Lights Suplex. CW wins this impromptu bout but not the title, since it isn't a sanctioned match. Taguchi's girlfriend, Miyako, recognizes his wrestling moves as those of her ex-lover, Iwata. The only problem is...he died from a mystery illness a few years ago, but could he have returned in the form of a giant squid? The mystery!

Taguchi turns out be somewhat of a jerk, and Miyako pursues CW to find out if he really is Iwata. He is, and she looks past the fact that he's now a giant squid to rekindle their relationship. Come on, ladies...tell me you wouldn't get freaky with a guy who has 8 arms? CW then trains for his official match with Taguchi in a montage that owes a lot to Rocky, as does their match. The time for the big match comes and Taguchi has become...an octopus! It's your classic Octopus vs. Squid showdown - I think the pay-per-view of this is called Seafood Smackdown. CW wins the title and gets ambushed a few days later by yet another seafood creature - The Squilla Boxer! This sets up a boxer vs. wrestler showdown at the end of the movie and a bizarre plot twist I won't spoil for you.

There are some weird cuts in the movie and plot holes but if you enjoy a bad b-movie as much as I do, it's worth a look. If nothing else, there are a few lines of hilarious dialogue and seeing a huge squid shop at a farmer's market with his girlfriend is just priceless. My girl is a saint for watching this with me. :) Here's a clip of The Calamari Wrestler's surprise debut in the ring: