Were You Over...?

The other day, I left my cubicle at work to take care of some business in the bathroom (stay with me here). I was gone for a reasonable amount of time and promptly returned to my desk.  The girl that sits next to me said, "Oh, I thought you left early for lunch."  Not wanting to go into any detail about my lavatory escapades, I simply replied, "Nope."

Then she asked, "Were you over talking to Phillip on the other side?"  I said, "Uh, no" hoping that would be the end of it.

She then asked, "Were you over having fun talking to Brandon about the email project?"  I could see that there was no winning so I just smiled and said, "Yeah, something like that" but in my head I'm thinking COME ON WOMAN!  CAN'T A GUY GO TAKE A CRAP AT WORK AND NOT BE QUESTIONED ABOUT WHERE HE'S BEEN?!??!

The Gods of Cheesy Music

This guy I work with came over to my desk the other day.  As per usual, I had my earphones in because I don't like talking to anyone.  The guy asked me what I was listening to.  Of course, "I Touch Myself" by The Divinyls was playing and he started to lean in closer to see my iPod screen.

I quickly pressed the skip button to go to the next track which (of course!) was "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

At that point, I knew the Gods of Cheesy Music were solidly against me, so I just shoved my iPod under the hard drive tower and told him I was listening to some '90s music.

Today! Tomorrow! Yesterday!

For the sake of this story, let's just pretend I'm talking about a company when in fact, I am really NOT talking about my company, okay?  I'm really not.

So, a company recently made a change to their magazine advertisements which involves putting a banner at the top that states "Sale starts today!"  The problem is that these ads go in magazines.  That are printed.  And are picked up / go on sale two months from today, six months from yesterday, eight weeks from tomorrow.  There is no "today" in that scenario.

I am baffled by the rationale behind putting this as a masthead on every single ad because it's about as effective as those restaurants that have a sign stating "Free beer tomorrow."  The free beer will always be tomorrow.  The sale will always be starting today.

Translation - there is no free beer and there is no sale.

Is anyone going to pick up that ad and go "Waitaminute! The sale starts today!  Like, today today?!??!!"

*sigh*

Shaking Fists

My supervisor at work up and quit on a recent Monday morning.  I figured he was out sick that day which is odd because at the time, I was sick and had gotten back from a weekend in Vegas.  I was feeling a little run down but decided if I was going to take a sick day, I better really be sick.

Tuesday rolled around and still no supervisor, and that's when I found out he was gone.  I guess he just sent an email to the big boss and said he wasn't coming in anymore and that he was moving.  It's been a range of emotions since he left.  We weren't exactly buddies but we got along fine.  So, a part of me is really annoyed at the manner in which he left -- maybe it really was a spur of the moment decision and there was no time to prepare.  There is a ton of work left for me and my coworker to do in his absence so I've been forced into a very stressful situation.  I've put in a lot of overtime and meanwhile, still have to find time/energy to concentrate on finishing up my Master's program.

For the first week without him around, I think we did pretty well.  Monday and Tuesday sucked, Wednesday really sucked, and Thursday was just completely FUBAR.  By the time Friday came around, my coworker and I were caught up on things and *gasp!* getting ahead for the following week. The supervisor did a ton of shit -- a lot of which he never taught anyone so we're having to figure a lot of things out.

A part of me is a little relieved the supervisor is gone.  Sometimes our work relationship was frustrating but it's just work - who cares.  Now that he's gone there isn't a chance for that tension, and realistically, the only way for me to move up was for him to be gone.  So instead of being a small little cog in the work machine, I have a much bigger role in things.  A lot of people in my department depended on the supervisor but I think with the work load more properly balanced, we'll all be just fine.

I think I'm mostly annoyed by the manner in which he left.  I sent him a personal email after we found out he was gone and never got a response.  I guess his preferred method of leaving is just to burn every bridge in sight.  I would have at least appreciated a "Hey, sorry but there was no other choice.  It was nice working with you."

Unforward Back

Remember by previous post about potentially going back to my old job? Yeah, that's not going to happen. I had a good meeting with the current manager, but I was still skeptical about the overall stability of the company. They're doing good but are still a minimum of 3 years away (my guess) from doing great.

Things seemed to be going well enough with the re-interview, so they brought in the CFO. I caught up with him for a few minutes and expressed some of my concerns. He asked me what type of salary I was looking for, and I told him. His response was, "Huh. That wasn't the number we were looking for." Dude, I don't even make that much! They best they could offer me was my old salary when I was working there...so really, what would be the point of going back to a potentially unstable company just to make my old salary?

*sigh* Oh well. They understood they were far off on the compensation, so I'll be at my current job.

*sigh*

Forward Back

I was recently contacted by the first company that I worked for. It seems the manager of my old department will be leaving soon, and they were discussing how to proceed once he's gone. My name came up and someone I was close with at the company got in touch via Facebook. I told them I'd like to stop by and see what their plans are. Part of me still thinks it's pretty bizarre (in a good way), though.

I certainly left on good terms, and I even told them I would come back to work for them if the circumstances were right. I just wonder if you can move forward in your career by going back...?

I'm not positive what type of new work would be involved but it would certainly be more creative than what I have going on right now. Intriguing - we'll see what happens.

The Semi-Glare™

One of my pet peeves is The Glare. I guess I should call it The Semi-Glare™. Let me fill you in on what happened - I was in an informal meeting of my department. By informal, I mean we all gathered around one side of the room by the printers to listen to my boss talk for 5 minutes. I had forgotten to turn down my cellphone ringer so when someone called me, it started crankin' out Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time" - it was on volume 3 out of 7. In under 1 ring, I was reaching for my phone. I fumbled a bit with it in my pocket and shut it off during the second ring. The boss didn't say anything to me during or after the meeting. In my opinion, everyone that heard the ring should have just gone on with their day because there's nothing to say.

But no, afterwards, the guy I was standing next to gave me The Semi-Glare™ and said, "Hey, good time for your cell phone to ring." Guess what, asshole? I didn't do it on purpose - I forgot to turn my ringer off! I don't need your follow up commentary! I know I messed up, that's why I immediately sprang into action. If I was the jerk you're making me out to be by talking about it, I would have let it go or even answered the phone.

Just the way he said it really irked me. It's like when I see Moms with their crying children at church. When you see them get up from their seat to take the baby outside, it's because they realize it's a distraction and they're doing something about it. You turning around to give them The Semi-Glare™ is completely unnecessary, you douchebag. If the person that's causing a distraction is doing something about it, just leave them alone. Go ahead and upgrade your Semi-Glare™ into a full Glare for someone more deserving.

People Who Type Entire Emails into the Subject Line

Once in a while, I get forwarded e-mails from someone in my company. It makes me snicker because they are brief e-mails but the entire body is in the subject line. So it'll look like this:

Fw: to Chris
Subj: Switch out SKU #'s 1111 and 222 in all forthcoming magazine ads from July forward - have Rebecca doublecheck the barcodes
Body:

Nothing in the body of the e-mail. Everything's in the subject. I just don't know how to respond to that and luckily I never have to.

Company Lunch

There was a company sponsored lunch recently at work, my first experience at this new company. For whatever reason, it was a Hawaiian themed day with lunch catered from (wait for it...) El Pollo Loco. ¿Aloha, mis amigos?

About 11:30, they announced lunch was ready and I waited 15 minutes for the line to die down. The guy that sits next to me said last year, there were a ton of leftovers all day long, so I figured I had plenty of time.

11:45 rolls around and I walk to the kitchen to find they are completely out of tortillas, chips and salsa. And they're down to 2 pieces of chicken - both wings. And there were 5 people in line behind me.

So I piled on the rice and beans and grabbed one wng. So sad.

An hour later - they apparently ordered more food, and announced there was more chicken. Again, I watied because I figure the people that got nothing would go first. 15 minutes later, I walked over to find one drumstick and two wings left.

Either I work with a bunch of vultures or whoever orders food has no clue what the hell they're doing. Thank you for the rice, beans and 0.06 ounces of meat I had for lunch, company.