99 Problems

I was looking at the last minute items in the 99-Cent Store checkout line the other day when two items caught my eye.  The first was a pregnancy test and right next to it was a pack of condoms.  I should have taken a photo.  They were probably stocked next to one another because one would need the 99¢ pregnancy test after the 99¢ condoms fail you.  Great marketing, guys.

Over It? Pt. 2

I finally figured out why I don't like taking pictures anymore as I blogged about in a recent post.  It came to me in a revelation during the first Camp Freddy show we went to.  Steven Tyler walked out onstage and my first instinct was to tell The Wife to start taking some pictures or a video clip.  Then I looked out in the crowd and saw about 30 cameras taking photos and videos, including the clip I posted.

So, I think part of me not wanting to take photos is because everybody else is.  Why do I need my own crappy video of Steven Tyler when I can get on YouTube two days later and watch something much better than I could have taken?  Why do I need to take a photo at friend gatherings when most everyone posts most everything on Facebook?

Over It?

For some reason, I've completely lost interest in taking photographs over the last year or two.  I have no idea where my digital camera is, and whenever I find it, I'll be surprised by whatever the last photo is on there.  Birthdays, gatherings, holidays and so much more comes and goes and I have zero interest in taking a photograph of anything.  I doubt this has anything to do with having a camera that's 7 years old.  I think it's some kind of subconscious psychological decision my brain made to rebel against...something?  I don't mind posing for photos but just don't expect me to take or upload photos of anything that happened in the last two years.

Awk. Ward.

I got an email from my high school about a Christmas thing this past weekend. It advertised an appearance by Santa, crafts and free breakfast. In my head, I pictured stacks of pancakes and muffins, and 10-15 local artists selling homemade crafts so we could pick up some Christmas gifts. The campus is maybe 5 minutes from where we live, so The Wife and I went to check it out. Plus, I figured I could show her where I went to school.

Here's what we ended up getting: Santa Claus (as promised!), mini-bagels and donuts (well, it was free) and tables set up with craft supplies so kids could make stuff (not a local artist in sight). Crap! We felt pretty weird since we have no child of our own and I don't want to look like a molester and/or kidnapper. Quick, time for Plan B: grab a bagel and donut (respectively) and then flee! That was a fine plan, you see, until a girl from my graduating class spotted me and said hello with her husband and kid. #$*(!, we've been seen! We talked for two awkward minutes and then got the heck out of there.

Not really how I envisioned my Saturday morning going but I have to give props to my Wife for going along with my stupid crazy ideas sometimes. Perhaps I should have emailed back for more information before we drove over there.

The Semi-Glare™

One of my pet peeves is The Glare. I guess I should call it The Semi-Glare™. Let me fill you in on what happened - I was in an informal meeting of my department. By informal, I mean we all gathered around one side of the room by the printers to listen to my boss talk for 5 minutes. I had forgotten to turn down my cellphone ringer so when someone called me, it started crankin' out Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time" - it was on volume 3 out of 7. In under 1 ring, I was reaching for my phone. I fumbled a bit with it in my pocket and shut it off during the second ring. The boss didn't say anything to me during or after the meeting. In my opinion, everyone that heard the ring should have just gone on with their day because there's nothing to say.

But no, afterwards, the guy I was standing next to gave me The Semi-Glare™ and said, "Hey, good time for your cell phone to ring." Guess what, asshole? I didn't do it on purpose - I forgot to turn my ringer off! I don't need your follow up commentary! I know I messed up, that's why I immediately sprang into action. If I was the jerk you're making me out to be by talking about it, I would have let it go or even answered the phone.

Just the way he said it really irked me. It's like when I see Moms with their crying children at church. When you see them get up from their seat to take the baby outside, it's because they realize it's a distraction and they're doing something about it. You turning around to give them The Semi-Glare™ is completely unnecessary, you douchebag. If the person that's causing a distraction is doing something about it, just leave them alone. Go ahead and upgrade your Semi-Glare™ into a full Glare for someone more deserving.

Enchanted Water Pt. 2

I forgot to mention this in my previous posting about Kangen Water, but I found this article, written by a chemist, that completely debunks the entire thing. Enjoy the article, anonymous blog commenter from last time! :)

Enchanted Water

A family member recently gave the Wife and I one gallon of ionized water from Kangen. Kangen water claims to be filled with antioxidants which can slow aging and prevent disease. I'm not really sure how the process works, but I believe it's something along the lines of a pyramid scheme. You start drinking the water, then you get other people to buy an ionizing system by giving them a free sample.

Interestingly, if you type in the words "Kangen water" on Google, two of the top three keywords it wants to auto-fill in are "bullshit" and "scam."

Anyway, this particular family member is highly religious yet also believes in the healing properties of this stuff and other kooky things. She also suggested I go see a healing priest to cure my diabetes, but all I got out of that experience was a cold that lasted a week (no joke). Needless to say, the Wife and I are highly, highly, highly skeptical of this enchanted water. I drank a cup or two of it and it definitely tasted different...like, kind of metallic. The rest of it was used to water our plants. :)

Long Beach Comic Con

The new Wife and I went to the Long Beach Comic Convention a few weekends ago. Overall, it was a letdown but what was interesting was the row of media celebrities available for autographs. Included in this row were: Josie Davis, most known for Charles in Charge; Tito Santana, former pro wrestler; Dave Ellefson, former bass player for Megadeth; and Deon Richmond, who I recognized from playing the Token Black Guy in Not Another Teen Movie. So in case you were wondering what minor league celebrities do with a free Sunday morning...this is it.

TP

I don't know how long they've been doing this but I noticed patterns embroidered on our toliet paper the other day. Hearts. Flowers. Neat designs or whatever. Considering what it's used for and its ultimate destination, isn't this one of the last things we should be decorating or sprucing up? Is anyone and/or their ass happier because it was wiped with a heart patterned paper??

Road Trip?

My fiancee got invited to a bridal shower for the fiancee of my cousin, neither of whom she's ever met. And it's in Michigan.

Whaaaaaaat?

And On Bass...

Last night, I dreamt I was asked to play in a Better Than Ezra cover band. It was a last minute thing, so I ran out and got a bass guitar, since bass is supposedly easier to play than guitar or drums. I had to call BTE's management to get their permission to play our gig. I don't know how it turned out because the next thing I dreamt about was cooking eggs in a kitchen.

And for the record, no, I did not drop acid last night.

Allison Mack. Connected.

So I was reading up on Smallville the other day, which is an awesome show, by the way. We're watching it on Netflix and have 1 disc left in Season 4. (Anyone that posts spoilers in the comments and ruins something for me will have Deathstroke the Terminator sent after you.)

I digress.

So I'm reading up on Wikipedia and clicking around to some of the actors' names, and I come across Allison Mack's entry on Wikipedia. It's a normal page until you get to the bottom and see that she is on every single social networking site. Seriously. You can get in touch with Allison Mack on her official website, via Sodahead, MySpace, YouTube, Facebook, Bebo, Orkut, Friendster (sidebar: people still use Friendster?) and hi5.

I've never even heard of most of these sites, but holy smack! I guess, on one hand, it might be smart because she's protecting her name and preventing impostors from posing as Allison Mack. On the other hand, how in the heck does she keep up with all of them? Probably has a personal assistant. "Hey, make sure you check my Sodahead account first, then my Facebook before you get me coffee."

The Clogginator

Holyyyyyyyy crap! Even though this came out last year, it was a featured ad on MySpace today.

The Baconator from Wendy's - two 1/4 lb. beef patties, two slices of American cheese and SIX strips of bacon! I wonder if they did product testing and the most common feedback they got was "Not clogging my arteries fast enough. Suggest adding more bacon."

There is a Wendy's within walking distance of my office, but I think I'd have to walk the 18.3 miles home to burn off even half of this thing.

Let the O' Go

Nearly everyone I know (myself included) refers to this steaming hot instant ramen noodle thing as Cup O' Noodles. But look at the package, it says Cup Noodles. Whenever I point this out to people, they are either flabbergasted or astonished (pick one).

I researched it on the Nissin website but came up short, so I sent them an e-mail. To my astonishment and flabbergastiment, they wrote me back hours later with a response!

Apparently the O' was added for the US market. It was dropped at some point in order to unify with the Asian market and the trademarked name of simply Cup Noodles.

So, there you go...information you didn't ask for. Stop using the O. Also, check out the Wikipedia entry to see some other Cup Noodles flavors from around the globe - Italian Tomato (Brazil), Spicy Duck (Thailand) and Beef Marrow (Philippines)!