If you want to stalk me or publish a biography someday, please include these five facts about me:
1) My favorite smell in the world is maple syrup. If I'm lazy and don't wash my plate after eating waffles, the syrup permeates the air for a while, and it is awesome.
2) I feel a little dangerous whenever I wear black underwear.
3) At the tender age of 24, I sent in an audtion tape for MTV's The Real World. I obviously got rejected.
4) I can grab a jar of peanut butter and a spoon and just dig in. That's how much I adore peanut butter.
5) I've conditioned my body for the 20 minute power nap. I've never tried it, but I imagine I could throw a casserole in the oven for 20 minutes and wake up exactly in time for a perfectly cooked dinner.
If this biography gets published, I'd like the title to be A Staggering Work of Heartbreak and Genius.
If said biography gets turned into a motion picture, I would like Will Ferrell to play me. I don't care how old he is.
4 comments:
A Staggering Work of Heartbreak and Genius was not very good. That book drags like a mofo. So you should not name your bio that. Because you'd probably get sued.
Yeah, I tried to read A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius but just couldn't get through it. And when I say "tried to" I mean I got about 50 pages in.
Still, if it was nominated for a Pulitzer, the least I can try is to knock off the title.
I think it took me two or three months to read it. And I read fast. It kept putting me to sleep. For some reason I stuck with it and finished it.
Have you ever had the peanut butter chocolate shake at Rocky Cola? It's like eating peanut butter right out of the jar with the addition of chocolate.
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