Monday, July 28, 2008

What A Week

(Warning - contains spoilers for National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets. Although, really - if I spoil this movie for you, you should thank me for freeing up two hours of your life with which you can do something more productive. Read a book.)

Let's suppose we sat down, and I told you about all the things I accomplished in one week, as follows:

- I traveled to France and used a remote-controlled helicopter with camera to find an inscription on the Statue of Liberty.
- I went to England, got arrested in Buckingham Palace, but then broke out and into the Queen's office to steal a wooden plank hidden in a desk.
- I used my estranged girlfriend to talk my way into the Oval Office to look for another wooden plank hidden in a desk.
- I forced the President to hold his birthday party at Mount Vernon by booking up all other available locations in the area.
- I snuck into the President's birthday party by swimming and using the old "tuxedo under a wet suit" trick.
- I kidnapped the President under the guise of exploring Mount Vernon, in order to get him alone and ask him about a book.
- I went to the Library of Congress, found information in said book, then outran FBI and police who are after me for kidnapping the President.
- I traveled to Mount Rushmore, got past several traps and found a lost city of gold buried underneath the monument.
- I got my girlfriend back and was then thanked by the President.

Would that sound like the most ridiculous week of my life ever or the plot to National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets?

If you guessed National Treasure, you are correct! This movie just earned a spot on my list of Worst Movies Ever Made. Look, I know you're supposed to suspend disbelief but come on. If it's a movie like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, they say there's they've mastered this branch of martial arts, and they can basically fly. Okay, got it. That's the field we're playing on. But look at all of the things Nicolas Cage accomplishes in the present day. Either his character is the highest level of genius in some alternate Earth or this movie is beyond absurd.

I'm going with absurd.

6 comments:

addy said...

I'm going with AWESOME! I love this movie (and the first one, and no doubt the next one too)... It's more than suspending disbelief, it's a fairy tale. It's a Disney movie for the kids that are too old for animation. You can't go into it thinking it's "real." It's the new generation of "tween" movies, with some fun silly one liners for the adults!

Tyler said...

I wanted to go see that movie in the movie theater whilst drunk, but y'all didn't get back to me. It's currently in my queue. Way down there, but it's in there.

PunkRoqPrncess said...

if its disney, it must be awesome. duh.

Erica said...

Thanks for ruining it for me

Carrie said...

I didn't really see how they could do a 2 after the first one (which was good) because the premise was basically the same.

Erica said...

I WAS going to read the book National Treasure 2, but now I know what happens.